1.The mysterious “teacher’s toilet” located in the corner of each Collegium Novum bathroom. What sort of luxury lies behind those doors? And how/where do I get the key?
2.The daft value placed upon small change. It’s like gold—literally. Potential Poland visitors be warned that each grocery store visit involves the clerk, after rattling off a mush of consonants equating to the amount due and being presented with a paper bill, asking the inevitable question: Do you have any grosze? Anymore, I just pour all my small change into my hand, and allow the clerk to pick out what she needs.
3.I buy milk in a box and cereal in a bag. This seems wrong to my American wired mentality.
4.What gave the nosy desk lady at my dorm the idea that I owe her 5 złoty? She owes me 5 złoty. Unfortunately, I do not know how to effectively communicate this in Polish. I have a feeling that this will be another fight that Maggie cannot win.
5.The Polish business men (and even my students when they are giving a presentation) are quite competent when it comes to neck ties. There are no “frat boy” knots here, just straight-up, well-executed Half Windsors. There’s even consistency in the length of the tie. Why do American men struggle so much with this?
6.I’ve concluded that for Polish high school girls, donning a pair of skinny jeans each morning must be a partner ordeal: one person holds the skin-tight pants, while the other runs and leaps into them. There is no other way.
7.Motor vehicles rule the city (and dictate how, when, and where I walk) especially from 4:00pm to 6:00pm. A green pedestrian light doesn’t seem to stop drivers from turning through the cross walk, and the sidewalks may as well be designated as “alternative parking.” Thank goodness for trams because the last thing this city needs is more cars.
8.Why the French girls in my Polish class lack the ability to shut the hell up. Yammer yammer yammer…all the way through the explanation of genitive.
9.It seems that driving around the main city center while blaring a pre-recorded announcement is effective advertising. But then again, I wouldn’t know; I can’t understand what they’re saying.
10.Apparently, there’s a difference in the [sh] sounds. Kasa, kasza, and Kasia are three words differentiated by three different pronunciations of [sh]. Kasa is the cash office; kasza is a barley dish often served with meat and gravey; and Kasia is a person (I have about five of them dispersed throughout my classes). However, for the life of me, I cannot hear the difference between these words.
I don’t mean to be a whiner, because there are many things that Poles do astoundingly well:
1.Bundling up small children. Each seems to be a living version of Ralphie from The Christmas Story, wearing so many layers that they have lost the ability to put their arms down. Even in pleasant 50 degree weather, each and every child will be sufficiently insulated, including (this is the most important part) a stocking cap tied squarely under his or her chin. I’ve heard stories of the Fulbright family in Kielce receiving stern lectures from Polish women after Langston and Zora’s caps have slipped off their heads.
2.Yogurt, soft white cheese, spreadable cheese, white cheese with jam
3.Breakfast…even if it is a combination of bread, meat, and cheese. Every now and then, they throw a few Polish pancakes in there. It’s yummy.
4.Soup—whether homemade or instant, it never fails to make me happy.
5.Stringing more consonants together than I previously thought humanly possible. The Polish lexicon is astoundingly beautiful. I often ask for words to be repeated, just so I can hear them again…and try to memorize them (which is the often a failure). Mirek once told me that nothing can compare to the beauty of Polish poetry, because the language lends itself so well to this art form. From the words on the street, I have no reason to doubt him.
6.Christmas lights, even if they are slightly psychedelic. In the dark days of 3:30pm sunsets, I’ll take all the light I can get.
7.Fresh vegetables, open air markets, and buying apples from the same man each week.
8.Opening doors for women. Chivalry is not dead; it lives on in Poland…and in Marcin Lewandowski.
9.Hospitality.
10.Walking, patience, and perseverance. In a nation dominated by public transport, one must find a way to get from point A to B according to someone else’s schedule. Living here has taught me to enjoy the getting there.
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